Sam Bagshaw’s last video that got over 1 million likes is him going out to TGI Fridays by himself. He looks physically nervous as he fiddles with his hands whilst ordering, but that doesn’t stop him at all. He’s out of his comfort zone but doesn’t give up. The video ends with him thanking the waitress for helping him feel relaxed.
I’m one of almost a million people that follows Sam on TikTok. Better known as stammerexperiences, his main goal with his content is to push himself to be more confident, whilst showing the life of someone with a stammer. Often this involves approaching people whilst on a walk and starting a conversation with them, or going to a cafe by himself.
I was a bit taken aback by how genuine he is when I first met him. The man you see online is not a persona or exaggerated and that speaks to how true he is to himself. Just like in his videos, every sentence is punctuated with a smile. Despite this interview taking place over a video call it was impossible not to feel the positivity that surrounds Sam.
With up to 60% of adults with stammers estimated to meet the diagnosis criteria for social anxiety disorder, I assumed this was the case with Sam. He explained to me that for him it is more nuanced.
“I’ve always struggled with it. I do think that it has to do with my stammer but at the same time I feel like if I didn’t have a stammer, I think I would still be not a confident person, really. I was always quite a shy person, I would say. So I think just having a stammer, it’s just made it a lot more challenging for me.”
Sam told me that in school his lack of self confidence definitely had an impact on how he approached tasks, but that he pushed through.
“I tried to just get on with it really the best that I could. I was just pretty much getting through each lesson. I did have one to one support when I used to be taken out of a lesson because I was finding it a bit hard in some lessons. I never used to put my hand up, even if I knew the answer. I just used to get someone else to answer it. When it came to the reading parts the teacher knew that I wouldn’t want to read in front of our class so I pretty much avoided that.”
While Sam wasn’t bullied in school, he tended to stay in a small group and avoided talking to people he wasn’t close friends with.
“When it was break time, I just stayed around like a small group that were in my class. I think I just tried my best to stay around people that understand about me having a stammer and I just tried to avoid people that would probably say something about it. I didn’t really have much of that because I think with those types of people, I just tried to hide it. I just used to not talk. If I did that, then they wouldn’t know that I’ve got a stammer.”
This led to him not engaging in extracurricular activities that he really wanted to do, which he is now certainly making up for.
“I did miss out on a lot. I wasn’t into doing sports, and I think I would have liked to join, like, something after school, but I just didn’t have the confidence because I didn’t know the people that were doing them. I’m definitely making up for it now and doing everything that I can do.”
It’s safe to say Sam no longer shies away from sports. The last time me and Sam spoke he had just run the Brighton Marathon for Action for Stammering Children and raised over £3000. He has also joined a running club after a member reached out to him.
“I’m really happy that I joined it, because that’s definitely helped my confidence a lot, because it’s not all about the running. Before we start the run, we all meet up and we just all have a chat and stuff before we go. And then as you’re running, sometimes you might be talking to someone who is running next to you. So that really helped a lot.”
Sam decided to join TikTok in 2022 after he had seen others document their experiences with stammers and felt inspired to do the same. Initial community support encouraged him to continue on this journey and make more adventurous content.
“I got a lot of support and I found out that I could help people. I started off with videos in my room, and then as I’m getting more confident that’s when I started going out there and doing videos with all different people. I just like to do videos where I’m going in really challenging situations. I just want to show people that you can do it.”
A common type of video on Sam’s page is where he approaches strangers and starts a conversation with them. He told me that this was initially really hard to do.
“You don’t know what people are going to be like and how they’re going to react. People are probably not expecting to be stopped by someone and to have a chat with them. So I used to find that hard just to start it off.”
As he has had positive interactions with people in these situations his confidence has grown and he really enjoys doing it.
“It’s been really good. I’ve had really long conversations with people sometimes and it’s been really nice. I feel like I’m actually making their day because it’s something different for them.”
Sam’s content has the dual effect of building himself up whilst also educating people about what living with a stammer is like. It’s a window into what challenges there are and provides a forum for curious people to ask questions about it.
The community he has built is overwhelmingly supportive of him and this is clear to see from even a brief scroll through his comment section. Sam clearly attracts viewers that have the same positive outlook on life that he does, and there is a feeling of communal empowerment.
In spite of this, Sam walked me through the rare but present negativity that he has received. He noted that as he has increased in popularity he has noticed an increase in this. Yet he is not put down and even continues to look forward when talking about it.
“People were screenshotting my videos when I find it hard when I’m struggling and they were putting the pictures in the comments. That’s the kind of stuff that I didn’t like. When I first started, for quite a long time I wasn’t getting any hate comments or anything like that. Every single one was all positive. It’s definitely changed where I do start to get more now but I’m just gonna keep on posting as much as I can do. I don’t let it bother me at all.”
Hearing this I was struck with admiration. Sam’s vulnerability in showcasing his self-confidence difficulties to the world is accompanied by an unwavering optimism.
Despite his account focusing on his stammer, Sam is not defined by it and is far more than that. He is proof that consistently exiting your comfort zone makes you resilient, and that approaching life with an optimistic attitude even when it is difficult is key to overcome significant challenges.
What is most inspiring about Sam is his humble recognition of the positive impact he is having on the lives of others. Whilst Sam started the page to improve himself and overcome a lack of self confidence, the drive to produce videos is the effects he is having on his community.
Reflecting on his childhood, Sam sees uplifting the younger generation of viewers as motivation for the future of his content.
“I definitely think if I was able to watch someone when I was that age, I think it would have really helped me through school. I really want to help them at that age because I know that they might be a bit nervous when they get older about what it’s going to be like. So I’m already showing them that everything’s going to be okay for them if they find it hard when they’re young. That definitely keeps me going and keeps me doing more and more videos.”
@stammerexperiences
