Child to parent abuse, or CPA, is estimated to be experienced by 10% of parents in the UK, but experts believe this only scratches the surface. Why? The stigma of shame and blame.
CPA, is commonly defined as where a child or adult-child (aged 16 years or over) uses harmful behaviours against their parents or caregivers beyond a single incident. While it is recognised as domestic abuse if the perpetrator is 16 or over, there is no legal definition for CPA if they are under-16. For many parents and carers affected by this form of abuse, this is one of many barriers in the way of reaching out.
However, the UK government is currently deciding how to redefine CPA to include cases where a child is under 16. For Michelle John, this change is the first step in the right direction.
Michelle is the Founding Director of PEGS- Parental Education Growth Support, a social enterprise set up for parents experiencing CPA. Michelle founded PEGS after feeling she had no support when she experienced this form of abuse
She said: “I think it’s a positive that the government are kind of now recognising this as a form of abuse. For under-16s quite often what we’re seeing is massive gaps where communities of families are just being completely missed- they’re falling through gaps.”
Michelle gave me more of an insight into the factors contributing to the stigma surrounding CPA:
“Society already labels us bad parents before we become parents. I think the assumption is if you are experiencing or have experienced abusive behaviours from your child that somehow you are at fault.”
A London Violence Reduction Unit study in 2022 found that 40% of parents experiencing CPA did not report the abuse to the police. This highlights the extent of the stigma around CPA.
Michelle also compared this to the social conversation about domestic abuse:
“It’s far more well known, people are more accepting. But when it’s someone’s child there’s an assumption that something must have happened to that child from the parental figure.”
Whilst there is not a confirmed deadline for the updated government definition, Michelle wants to change the way we talk about CPA, reducing the stigma and making support more visible.
“Let’s start normalising talking about this form of abuse so that people know it exists and that there’s support out there.”
To find out more about PEGS, CPA and how to access support, visit the link below:
